How Running Made Me Famous

I ran this morning. No, I will not tell you where I was running.

That is no unusual thing in and of itself, but today it was unusual. Have you ever seen a car with a tall tower disco-ball-looking-thing on top?  Only, instead of delightful, small mirrors that make you wanna dance,  there is a large mass of cameras where the mirrors should be.  It is an unusual site (unless of course you work for Google Maps… and then I suppose it is a normal site for you). The disco truck went by me, and I thought, “What the heck was that?” (Yes, even in my own head I don’t use the real cuss word... I was raised that way).  It dawned on me what I was seeing (largely due to the fact that the vehicle has “Google Maps” written on it in large letters). Then it hit me: I’m finally famous!  My picture will be on the web!  That glee was followed seconds later by: Oh, no...  I’m running! The picture I want to be on the web is not one of me running.

Uh, no, I will not tell you where I was running.

Let’s talk a little bit about “appropriate dress.”  I dress very differently in different situations. I choose attire according to the weather, the activity, the audience, the venue, the type of people who will be attending, and - of course - my mood.
 
I live in Texas. Only two words sum up the weather here: it’s HOT. Hot weather demands less clothing.  During a Texas summer, every man, woman, and  child has to make that all-important decision as to what they think is just enough clothing to cover all the important bits and still remain as cool as possible.  While this delicate balance skews one way for church or an outing with friends, it looks completely different for, say, swimming. I don’t want to go out to eat in my swimsuit, but I also don’t want to swim in my jeans, t-shirt, and shoes. I have actually done that. I took an advanced swimming class that required it.

Swimming with clothes on isn’t fun. It feels like you have someone (say, a younger, smaller sibling) hanging on you, pulling you down, trying to kill you. I don’t have any younger siblings who want to kill me (or any younger siblings at all) so I’m just using my imagination here. But I digress…I realize that when I run, I am not in my own bedroom.  I know that there will be people around who will see me.  I know that when I am in the great outdoors, it is a distinct possibility that someone I know will see me… but let’s face it, when I am running in my own neighborhood, I am only going to see a few people, and most of them are walking dogs or exercising – they are also out in the heat and are completely able to relate to the nature of Texas weather. They feel my pain and I, theirs; no judgment. The people who use Google Maps (aka: THE WORLD) will not have that same level of camaraderie with me. Removing me from my actual environment and putting me in a whole new environment (the internet - where anyone can see me) troubles me deeply.

No, I still will not tell you where I was running. Stop asking.

Okay, so now you are wondering what I was wearing.  I believe “appropriate dress” for running includes a sports bra, a tank top, and running shorts.  No, I do not run in just a sports bra and shorts… kudos to you who do…. I don’t have the stomach for it (meaning that I don’t have a shapely enough stomach to show in public, but the other interpretation really works here too).  I would not wear a running tank top and running shorts to lunch with friends or to the dentist.  I wouldn’t wear them to a business meeting (actually, I’m not sure I’ve ever been to a business meeting).  When I left this morning, I wasn’t headed to any of those things… I was headed out to run.

This isn’t just about the outfit. It’s about the whole running look. I sweat. A LOT (see also: it’s HOT!). I wear a headband to keep my soon-to-be-sweat-soaked hair out of my face. I’m also a pale kind of gal, and when I get hot my face turns red.  I mean RED. When people see me, they think I’m dying. Concerned Samaritan types bring me bottles of water, sure I’m about to collapse.  It’s not pretty, but this is just the way I look when I get hot.

This “look” is not the look I want to broadcast to the wide world.

I guess my point is that, while I swim in a swimsuit and not a jogging suit (don’t laugh, I know people who do - remember, I home school), I wouldn’t want a picture of me in a swimsuit on the internet for all to see…

And, no, I will not tell you where I was running, stop asking. Begging does not become you.